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At 8 a.m. I got a call from a friend I made here in the Netherlands.
Her voice was calm, slow, controlled, the kind of tone people use when they’re trying not to fall apart.
She’s Dutch, the real Dutch: private, reserved, never opening up unless something is truly wrong.
I tried to make her laugh.
I told her my dog had been farting so much that it became my new fragrance.
She laughed, but I could still hear the heaviness behind it.
Then she said something that hit me hard:
“Even the strongest rock gets a hole when the water hits it long enough.”
She continued, “I have so many people around me, but I feel empty and lonely. My mother calls me only to tell her problems. She never listens to mine. For her, my life is perfect. If I complain about my marriage, she says he’s too good for me to complain. I’m not being heard.”
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I paused.
I know that feeling.
I’ve lived inside that silence.
I changed my clothes, bought a small cake from the supermarket, and went to her house.
I knew that once she saw me, she would feel embarrassed for opening up.
Many women feel that, the mix of relief and fear after finally saying something out loud.
So I told her the truth:
“You are beautiful.
/
You are smart.
I wish I could be a mother like you. And honestly? Your husband is ugly compared to you.”
(Yes, I said it, not because he’s bad, but because so many women feel below their husbands after having kids. Sometimes we need to hear we’re still more than enough.)
I reminded her of everything she has conquered.
I shared a small secret of my own, so she wouldn’t feel alone in her vulnerability.
We hugged.
We drank coffee.
And before I left, I told her:
“You are more than enough.”
Have you ever felt like her?
I have.
There were days I wished someone would show up at my door with a hug and a warm drink.
But life gets busy, work, kids, house, responsibilities, and friendships become something we schedule instead of something we live.
Real friendship isn’t drinks or parties.
It’s presence.
It’s showing up when someone’s voice sounds different.
It’s hearing the things they’re afraid to say.
So let me ask you:
Have you checked on your strong friend today?